From your end you probably won’t notice a difference, but from over here the grass is much greener (or should I say, the PHP is cleaner and the AJAX is nicer). Since now I’ve probably got you all confused (unless of course you’re a geeky as I am, or *gasp* geekier), I guess I’ll explain. Basically I updated both the front and backend of my site. While the frontend-blog interface looks pretty much the same, the frontend-management is significantly better. Of course, you wouldn’t notice that, but hey, this isn’t your blog, is it? Biatch. Anyways I just figured I’d swing by and share my ultra-exciting news (I already shared it, so don’t expect anything more amazing than what you just read). I’ll be posting more as the week draws nearer to an end (along with my age of 18). More to come soon! Stay tuned, fools!
This story has been passed on from generation to generation. It is not my story, however I offer to share it with you in the hope that you do not make the same mistake as this poor fellow. Enjoy!
I have recently made a mistake in my life, and I offer my story to all though tasteless, that you may learn from my error. It all started, as many things do, with me having trouble pooping. No, I was not constipated; this was not a regularity problem but a matter of technique.
It seems my ass-hair had grown to such a length that tiny grogans were constantly getting tied up in the matted jungle between my ass-cheeks. It led to much frustration, with me KNOWING that I still had something to drop, but unable to shake the tenacious turd loose from its butt-hair dwelling.
Eventually I would have to do two things: either reach down with some paper and try to pinch off the lingering loaf (which required careful precision to avoid smearing the creature all over my rear, especially since I had no way of seeing what I was doing) or just go for broke, start wiping, and hope that I could remove all the leftover fecal matter before the toilet paper reached its Can’t-Be-Flushed threshold. I was contemplating this problem, when I had what seemed at the time to be a bright idea. “Hey, this is my butt and my butt-hair, right? So why don’t I just eliminate all the hair, and then my grogans will flow out like beer from a keg!” I said to myself. It is a statement that will go down in history with a lot of other regretted statements. “How many Indians could there be?” said by General Custer. “Looks like a good day for a drive!” by JFK. “There! America On-line now has complete Usenet access!” by some idiot system tech. Such was my anal shaving idea. (more…)
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